Not This Year
by InvestInLove
Summary: Olivia doesn't think Christmas is worth celebrating anymore. WHat will it take to convince her differently? EO. Songfic Aly & AJ Not This Year


Not This Year

It's soooo close to Christmas that I just had to do some Christmas fics. Four actually, but this is number one. I'm kind of tired, since it's one in the morning and I feel a little weird, since I had too much Baileys, but I'm starting on this anyways. I don't own the song, Not This Year- By Aly & AJ.

_This Christmas card is so contrived  
A mannequin looks more alive  
Haven't meant a word I've written here  
The page is full not one thing sincere_

It was Christmas Eve, and Olivia sat alone in her apartment, staring outside at the snow falling down.

She sighed. She wasn't in the Christmas spirit, not that she ever was since her mom died, but this year seemed to be the worst.

_I can't, I can't  
I can't, I can't take it  
This is the time to smile,  
I can't fake it  
Please allow me the chance now  
To break it down_

She used to love Christmas when she was younger, but it stopped being anything worthwhile when her mom starting drinking, and forgetting about her, and Christmas was just another time of the year to wish she lived in a different life.

Once she got older and stopped living with her mom, and took a break from her, they started seeing each other around the holidays, so Christmas was going good for a while. But now…. she had no family, and no one to spend Christmas with, so what was the use of it anyway?

_It's not snow, It's rain coming down  
And the lights are cool,  
But they burn out  
And I can't pull off the cheer  
Not this year  
Not this year  
Not this year_

She looked out her window, and realized that it warmed up just enough for some of the snow to turn into rain, which made her feel even worse.

She looked across the street at everyone's Christmas lights hanging on their porches or doors, and almost wished she had made an effort to decorate, but it was Christmas Eve, so what was the use?

_When I look into the mirror  
No happiness is present here  
Not supposed to whine,  
Not supposed to cry  
Try to hold it in, but not this time_

Olivia walked over to her bathroom mirror, and didn't see the happiness that was on everyone else's face looking back at her.

She sighed, knowing all her friends were with their family, having fun, not even thinking a thing about her, not caring about her.

_I can't, I can't  
I can't, I can't take it  
This is the time to smile,  
I can't fake it  
Please allow me the chance now  
To break it down_

She walked away from the mirror and sat on the couch, putting her head in her hands. She just sat there, crying wishing she could have had a normal life, a normal family, then maybe she wouldn't be alone.

She wondered if anyone had noticed that she had been different the past couple of days. Everyone else was too caught up in their own Christmas spirit to notice that she had none though.

_It's not snow, It's rain coming down  
And the lights are cool,  
But they burn out  
And I can't pull off the cheer  
Not this year  
Not this year  
Not this year_

She thought back to the last good Christmas she could remember. She was 9, and her mom didn't drink much.

They didn't have much money but they managed to find a Christmas tree. She remembered how fun it was, driving around for hours, singing along with the Christmas songs on the radio, searching everywhere for a tree.

When they finally found one, they stayed up until after midnight decorating it, listening to more Christmas music. It was one of the last times she felt loved.

_Don't know, don't know  
If you can hear me  
I will, I will  
Speak louder for you_

_No more whispering  
Are you listening  
I am pleading  
I am pleading_

She looked up at the ceiling, almost thinking she would see her mom looking down on her, but of course, she felt stupid for thinking something like that.

She wished for a miracle. A Christmas miracle, something to make her life worth living. And suddenly, it seemed it was going to work when her doorbell rang.

_It's not snow, It's rain coming down  
And the lights are cool,  
But they burn out  
And I can't pull off the cheer  
Not this year  
Not this year  
Not this year  
Not this year_

She opened the door, and was surprised to see who was there.

_**Elliot.**_

_Ok….maybe this year wasn't going to be so bad._

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**One down. Three to go.**


End file.
